Monday, July 31, 2006
A.A.: More About Alcoholism: Once a Pickle - Always a Pickle
"Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has -- that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men."
Alcoholics Anonymous
More About Alcoholism
Page 32
By the time I was in college, I was a full blown alcoholic. I was a functioning drunk, able to go to class, get decent grades, maintain relationships and the such, but I was hooked. Of course, the signs were more obvious to those around me than to myself. I kept looking for the comparisons that "proved" I was still in control. One such "test" came in the form of a bet.
My fraternity brothers (who were genuinely concerned for my health and wellbeing) challenged me that I could not go one whole month without a drink. I took the bet and for 30 days laid-off alcohol, "proving" that I didn't have a drinking problem and was in total control. (A few interesting insights that should have meant more to me at the time, included: a) many of the guys didn't believe that I actually remained abstinent -- they assumed that I was secretly drinking at night or away from others; b) my studies dramatically improved during that month period; and c) I got totally smashed on day 31.)
Fast forward a few years and I was presented with another trick of the mind. After spending my 27th birthday in a treatment center and fully conceding that I was an alcoholic, I got involved in AA and worked the Steps -- I remained sober for three years. My life got better and somewhere in the middle of that third year I was convinced that I no longer needed the program to stay sober. Somewhere toward the end of that third year I convinced myself that I knew how to get sober if I needed to, but that my abstinence "proved" that I wasn't really an alcohlic -- I previously just had a lot of problems which caused me to drink.
I got totally smashed to celebrate my "freedom" -- and stayed smashed on and off for nearly ten more years. By God's grace, I humbly found my way back to AA and no longer want to "test" my sobriety or control over alcohol. Neither 30 days nor 3 years is proof of anything -- once a cucumber becomes a pickle, it can never be a cucumber again.
How many sober heartbeats do you have? click here
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
Alcoholics Anonymous
More About Alcoholism
Page 32
By the time I was in college, I was a full blown alcoholic. I was a functioning drunk, able to go to class, get decent grades, maintain relationships and the such, but I was hooked. Of course, the signs were more obvious to those around me than to myself. I kept looking for the comparisons that "proved" I was still in control. One such "test" came in the form of a bet.
My fraternity brothers (who were genuinely concerned for my health and wellbeing) challenged me that I could not go one whole month without a drink. I took the bet and for 30 days laid-off alcohol, "proving" that I didn't have a drinking problem and was in total control. (A few interesting insights that should have meant more to me at the time, included: a) many of the guys didn't believe that I actually remained abstinent -- they assumed that I was secretly drinking at night or away from others; b) my studies dramatically improved during that month period; and c) I got totally smashed on day 31.)
Fast forward a few years and I was presented with another trick of the mind. After spending my 27th birthday in a treatment center and fully conceding that I was an alcoholic, I got involved in AA and worked the Steps -- I remained sober for three years. My life got better and somewhere in the middle of that third year I was convinced that I no longer needed the program to stay sober. Somewhere toward the end of that third year I convinced myself that I knew how to get sober if I needed to, but that my abstinence "proved" that I wasn't really an alcohlic -- I previously just had a lot of problems which caused me to drink.
I got totally smashed to celebrate my "freedom" -- and stayed smashed on and off for nearly ten more years. By God's grace, I humbly found my way back to AA and no longer want to "test" my sobriety or control over alcohol. Neither 30 days nor 3 years is proof of anything -- once a cucumber becomes a pickle, it can never be a cucumber again.
How many sober heartbeats do you have? click here
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
# posted by Bill B. @ 7:19 PM 
