Friday, June 30, 2006
Bill's Story - The man took a drink, the drink took a drink, then the drink took the man
"... moments sublime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last, and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor."
"I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol."
Alcoholics Anonymous
Bill's Story
page 1
It has been nearly twenty years since I first read these words and they resonate as clearly today as they did then. I was given a Big Book by a friend who recognized that I was suffering -- just as he had, until he discovered and began working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. That's how A.A. works -- one alcoholic helping another.
I had to read only the first few sentences of the book to feel there was hope. I had never before heard anyone describe the same feelings that I had. No one I knew understood why I drank so much or why I couldn't just stop at a few. For them, drinking was fun, a social lubricant. For me, it was everything and I knew it was killing me.
As I was growing up and in high school and later in college, I had big dreams and ambitions. I had an image of the person I was going to be -- it was someone I admired and looked up to, like other positive role models. But it didn't come easy for me and I found that alcohol made me less inhibited, more creative, personable, and more popular. And then it turned on me...
I'd drink to create those feelings, that release, the freedom. But it was harder to find and, if it did come, it lasted for only a short while. I'd usually overshoot the mark trying to maintain the feeling... and then there would be the consequences and the lying and the guilt and the pain.
Over time, the person I became, the face that stared back in the mirror, was not the image I had envisioned at all. The reflection was of someone of whom I was ashamed. That person said things I would never say, thought things I would never think, and did things I would never do. That person wasn't me -- but it was! It was like I was becoming stranger and I didn't know how to find the real me. I was lost.
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
"I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol."
Alcoholics Anonymous
Bill's Story
page 1
It has been nearly twenty years since I first read these words and they resonate as clearly today as they did then. I was given a Big Book by a friend who recognized that I was suffering -- just as he had, until he discovered and began working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. That's how A.A. works -- one alcoholic helping another.
I had to read only the first few sentences of the book to feel there was hope. I had never before heard anyone describe the same feelings that I had. No one I knew understood why I drank so much or why I couldn't just stop at a few. For them, drinking was fun, a social lubricant. For me, it was everything and I knew it was killing me.
As I was growing up and in high school and later in college, I had big dreams and ambitions. I had an image of the person I was going to be -- it was someone I admired and looked up to, like other positive role models. But it didn't come easy for me and I found that alcohol made me less inhibited, more creative, personable, and more popular. And then it turned on me...
I'd drink to create those feelings, that release, the freedom. But it was harder to find and, if it did come, it lasted for only a short while. I'd usually overshoot the mark trying to maintain the feeling... and then there would be the consequences and the lying and the guilt and the pain.
Over time, the person I became, the face that stared back in the mirror, was not the image I had envisioned at all. The reflection was of someone of whom I was ashamed. That person said things I would never say, thought things I would never think, and did things I would never do. That person wasn't me -- but it was! It was like I was becoming stranger and I didn't know how to find the real me. I was lost.
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
# posted by Bill B. @ 5:34 PM 
