Saturday, July 08, 2006
Bill's Story - Give it away to keep it!
"He had come to pass along his experience to me -- if I cared to have it."
Alcoholics Anonymous
Bill's Story
page 9
That's how it worked for me. One afternoon, a few years ago, an angel in the form of an acquaintance approached me in my darkest hour. He was a friend when I didn't think I had any (as it turns out, I had more than I realized. It was me who hadn't been there...).
Ted (not his real name) said he recognized the same emptyness in my eyes that he had previously seen in his own. Ted was an alcoholic and he was happy. I knew he didn't drink, but I didn't think he ever had. That's probably why we had never gotten to know each other better. I didn't understand how people could just not drink. Truth be told, I was jealous of Ted. He seemed to have a handle on life (and I was out of control).
Ted casually told me about what he used to be like, how much and how often he used to drink, he told me of the people he hurt, the problems he caused, and the trouble he'd gotten into. He told me all this like he was talking to his best friend about a fishing trip. I had never been able to tell anyone about what I had done -- I was too ashamed. I wanted his courage and I wanted his freedom.
Then Ted explained what had changed the direction of his life. He told me about a conversation, very much like the one between he and I, that someone had with him. He told me that he found a program for people who could no longer control their drinking -- Alcoholics Anonymous. I replied that I had heard of A.A., but didn't really know anything about it. Ted offered to go with me to a meeting and said that if I wasn't comfortable, we could leave. Of course I said okay.
Ted said he would pick me up at 7:00 and asked if I could just not drink for the next three hours before the meeting. I said I could. He came by promptly at seven and that's how I went to my first A.A. meeting. Everyone seemed to know Ted and they came up and introduced themselves to me. I'm not sure why, but I was really nervous (and trying to act as though I wasn't). As the meeting began, one by one people introduced themselves again by saying their first name and adding, "I'm an alcoholic."
Mostly because I didn't want to stand out, when it was my turn, I said, "Hi, I'm Bill and I'm an alcoholic." That was the first time I had said that I was an alcoholic (at least out loud and certainly to other people). My heart skipped a beat, but it didn't stop cold. Strangely enough, just saying the words was liberating. By the end of the meeting, I knew I had found something special. I was still terrified, but somehow I felt better. I had a glimpse of hope that I didn't have before. I knew I'd be back.
As time has passed, I've found that it really is just that simple -- get honest with myself and other people, keep coming back, and pass along my experience, strength, and hope to someone else in need.
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
Alcoholics Anonymous
Bill's Story
page 9
That's how it worked for me. One afternoon, a few years ago, an angel in the form of an acquaintance approached me in my darkest hour. He was a friend when I didn't think I had any (as it turns out, I had more than I realized. It was me who hadn't been there...).
Ted (not his real name) said he recognized the same emptyness in my eyes that he had previously seen in his own. Ted was an alcoholic and he was happy. I knew he didn't drink, but I didn't think he ever had. That's probably why we had never gotten to know each other better. I didn't understand how people could just not drink. Truth be told, I was jealous of Ted. He seemed to have a handle on life (and I was out of control).
Ted casually told me about what he used to be like, how much and how often he used to drink, he told me of the people he hurt, the problems he caused, and the trouble he'd gotten into. He told me all this like he was talking to his best friend about a fishing trip. I had never been able to tell anyone about what I had done -- I was too ashamed. I wanted his courage and I wanted his freedom.
Then Ted explained what had changed the direction of his life. He told me about a conversation, very much like the one between he and I, that someone had with him. He told me that he found a program for people who could no longer control their drinking -- Alcoholics Anonymous. I replied that I had heard of A.A., but didn't really know anything about it. Ted offered to go with me to a meeting and said that if I wasn't comfortable, we could leave. Of course I said okay.
Ted said he would pick me up at 7:00 and asked if I could just not drink for the next three hours before the meeting. I said I could. He came by promptly at seven and that's how I went to my first A.A. meeting. Everyone seemed to know Ted and they came up and introduced themselves to me. I'm not sure why, but I was really nervous (and trying to act as though I wasn't). As the meeting began, one by one people introduced themselves again by saying their first name and adding, "I'm an alcoholic."
Mostly because I didn't want to stand out, when it was my turn, I said, "Hi, I'm Bill and I'm an alcoholic." That was the first time I had said that I was an alcoholic (at least out loud and certainly to other people). My heart skipped a beat, but it didn't stop cold. Strangely enough, just saying the words was liberating. By the end of the meeting, I knew I had found something special. I was still terrified, but somehow I felt better. I had a glimpse of hope that I didn't have before. I knew I'd be back.
As time has passed, I've found that it really is just that simple -- get honest with myself and other people, keep coming back, and pass along my experience, strength, and hope to someone else in need.
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
# posted by Bill B. @ 7:57 AM 
