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"I, who had thought so well of myself and my abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was cornered at last."

Alcoholics Anonymous
Bill's Story
page 8

Self-reliance... yeah right! So, how's that workin' out for ya?

I always felt that my greatest strength was my intelligence and strategic thinking. I never thought I was a genius or anything, but I was confident that if there was a problem, I could find a solution. But when it came to "solving" my drinking problem, nothing I tried on my own ever panned out as I planned for it to. The one thing I could always rely on, my mind, had failed me and I was in uncharted waters.

I was completely out of ideas... and I was afraid. I couldn't keep trying the same things I tried a thousand times before and I didn't know anyone who could understand -- let alone help. I couldn't tell anyone because the outward image I tried to project was completely different than the person on the inside and it was important to keep up that image (even if it killed me). I was terrified of people seeing me with these imperfections. I was all alone.



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