Friday, August 04, 2006
A.A.: More About Alcoholism: Honest Intentions
"On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside place where they have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I just thought I would get a sandwich."
"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach."
"He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!"
Alcoholics Anonymous
More About Alcoholism
Page 36
I look at the above story about Jim as being about a person who is in serious denial. The set-up for the story is that Jim is well aware that he is an alcoholic. First he lies to himself by saying that he has no intention to drink. He then convinces himself that a bar is a good place to go get a sandwich. Next he tells himself that "suddenly" he has the idea that whiskey would go well with milk and that it can't "hurt" him on a full stomach.
I believe what's really going on here is that Jim has deluded himself into believing that "self-knowledge" alone will keep him from drinking too much. The argument goes something like, "Now that I know I'm an alcoholic and that I can't handle my liquor, I need to be extra careful to not drink too much." Hoooey!
I don't believe that Jim had "no intention to drink." He didn't just "suddenly" have this tempting thought. I think he had been planning to drink for several months and had even picked this out of the way "restaurant with a bar" as the place where he was going to put his plan in motion. It was so easy to rationalize such blatantly lame thinking like, "whiskey in milk won't hurt," because he had already made the decision, but he needed something to assuage his conscience.
Jim had self-knowledge, but had not totally accepted that he was an alcoholic. Acceptance (at the gut level) is critical. After that, it's simply a matter applying a few easy concepts, like "stay out of bars!"
Today, my sobriety is too important to try to challenge, test or tempt it. People, places and things from the past can be triggers for relapse. I believe that it is my responsibility to know what those are and to avoid them. Self-knowledge is good, but only as a step to self-acceptance.
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach."
"He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!"
Alcoholics Anonymous
More About Alcoholism
Page 36
I look at the above story about Jim as being about a person who is in serious denial. The set-up for the story is that Jim is well aware that he is an alcoholic. First he lies to himself by saying that he has no intention to drink. He then convinces himself that a bar is a good place to go get a sandwich. Next he tells himself that "suddenly" he has the idea that whiskey would go well with milk and that it can't "hurt" him on a full stomach.
I believe what's really going on here is that Jim has deluded himself into believing that "self-knowledge" alone will keep him from drinking too much. The argument goes something like, "Now that I know I'm an alcoholic and that I can't handle my liquor, I need to be extra careful to not drink too much." Hoooey!
I don't believe that Jim had "no intention to drink." He didn't just "suddenly" have this tempting thought. I think he had been planning to drink for several months and had even picked this out of the way "restaurant with a bar" as the place where he was going to put his plan in motion. It was so easy to rationalize such blatantly lame thinking like, "whiskey in milk won't hurt," because he had already made the decision, but he needed something to assuage his conscience.
Jim had self-knowledge, but had not totally accepted that he was an alcoholic. Acceptance (at the gut level) is critical. After that, it's simply a matter applying a few easy concepts, like "stay out of bars!"
Today, my sobriety is too important to try to challenge, test or tempt it. People, places and things from the past can be triggers for relapse. I believe that it is my responsibility to know what those are and to avoid them. Self-knowledge is good, but only as a step to self-acceptance.
Get the latest edition of:
Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
# posted by Bill B. @ 7:05 PM 
