Monday, September 04, 2006
A.A.: How It Works: My Inventory
"Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though the situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's."
Alcoholics Anonymous
How It Works
Page 67
It's easy to look for fault in other people -- that used to be my M.O. I would try to make myself feel better or more important or less intimidated by tearing down the other person. But that is such a downward spiral. The effects on my ego were short-lived and pretty soon, according to me, everything and everyone sucked. Guess what happens when you treat everything and everyone like crap? You reap what you sow.
Pretty soon the world didn't think so much of me either. My methods backfired and I copped a "me against the world" attitude. What I really wanted was to be accepted -- to be a part of something. What I chose was to be apart from everything. In that loneliness, it was easy to justify my drinking.
In recovery I can see how self-destructive I had become. I am a human being with many flaws and that's okay. But, it means that I've got enough to work on right here at home without needing to go outside of myself to take inventory of other people's issues. In A.A., I've been taught that the real way to feel better about myself is to help build up other poeple -- to help them through their tough times. I have something to offer and that's not something to brag about -- I'm there to serve with no expectations or demands. Today I am a part of something much bigger than me. I prefer it this way. What a reversal.
A great companion book for 4th Step preparation:
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
Alcoholics Anonymous
How It Works
Page 67
It's easy to look for fault in other people -- that used to be my M.O. I would try to make myself feel better or more important or less intimidated by tearing down the other person. But that is such a downward spiral. The effects on my ego were short-lived and pretty soon, according to me, everything and everyone sucked. Guess what happens when you treat everything and everyone like crap? You reap what you sow.
Pretty soon the world didn't think so much of me either. My methods backfired and I copped a "me against the world" attitude. What I really wanted was to be accepted -- to be a part of something. What I chose was to be apart from everything. In that loneliness, it was easy to justify my drinking.
In recovery I can see how self-destructive I had become. I am a human being with many flaws and that's okay. But, it means that I've got enough to work on right here at home without needing to go outside of myself to take inventory of other people's issues. In A.A., I've been taught that the real way to feel better about myself is to help build up other poeple -- to help them through their tough times. I have something to offer and that's not something to brag about -- I'm there to serve with no expectations or demands. Today I am a part of something much bigger than me. I prefer it this way. What a reversal.
A great companion book for 4th Step preparation:
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
AA Services
aa addiction alcoholism recovery sponsornet substance abuse
# posted by Bill B. @ 9:44 AM 
